As I stumbled through the aisles in Paknsave Wairau trying to find the bakery section, it felt like I was in a fever dream. Millions of people were packed in the aisles, all trying to walk in a different direction like ants around a piece of food. The voice of the stick man echoed in the distance; his horrendous jokes unable to penetrate through my daze as I stumbled around.
When I finally saw the bakery section, I felt like a film character who stood too close to an explosion. The ringing in my head stopped and my vision was clear. At last, I thought.
It took me way too long to find a steak and cheese pie but I got there. I have never exited a shop so quickly.
The pie
I looked at the pie and was very impressed by its image. It had a good golden colour and a nice round shape. I had high expectations and was ready to be amazed. I took a bite and pondered. I thought quite hard, letting the gravy and pastry do their thing. But then… nothing. I mean, it’s a pie, I thought to myself.
It just tasted like beef stock (note the orangey tinge). The pastry was a bit stale and there wasn’t much beef, but it was impossible to wholly dislike the pie’s taste and texture. Somehow, the pie was so average that I actually disliked it more than if it had been objectively bad.
On one hand, what can you really expect from a supermarket?
On the other hand, at least put your millions of dollars of profit to good use and spend it on some pie r&d.
the virtue of a pie lies not in the wealth it may procure, but in the fervent heart of its creator. For where love kneads the crust, there gold hath no dominion
– Shakespeare if he liked pies
